Tall-Tale Eradication About Healthy Eating

Pure, incarnated evil!!!

As my precious reader, it is my duty to warn and protect you. 

The following is a description of the most seductive form the Devil takes: a rectangle...about 12"X24"...3-4" thick...fluffy and white on the top...crunchy and brown on the bottom...red in the middle...with white layers.  Humans have been heard to refer to this embodiment as "pretzel jell-o."

When he appears in this state, he is often surrounded by his minions disguised as buttered rolls, gravy, and mashed potatoes.

Many a weary man has tasted the raspberry, pineappley transcendence, become ensnared, and eaten close to half a pan in one sitting.  The pain from over-eating unhealthy, but incredible food becomes his temporary hell.

One would think, "how could anything promoted by Bill Cosby be evil?"  Well, was Fat Albert not evil?  Ah ha!  

I cannot escape this temptation, and you may share my weakness.  We can mitigate it, however.  If we eat healthy during the week, and exercise, the effects of the Devil's power exhibited through pretzel jell-o are significantly weakened.  We can exercise this behavior to defend ourselves from other devilish degustations as well.

Onward fit fatties at heart!

Another narrow escape

I walked past an "everything in here is up for grabs" cubical in the office this afternoon and came face-to-face with a gorgeous, scantily-covered box of bagels.  I'm telling you...the curves on those little donut-wannabe hotties, and the perfume emanating from the cream cheese... 

My heart beat faster and faster as my mind wondered, "what if..." "why not..." "nobody will ever know..." and the bagels...staring at me with their beautiful, brown, raisin eyes moaned the words, "take me..." "I'm hot..." "we need each other...."

Just before I made contact, the image of my wife's face appeared in my mind.  We're planning on getting Thai food this weekend, but I wouldn't want to if I cheated during the week.  I thought of the guilt I would feel in telling her...I withdrew my quivering hand, turned, and returned to my cube.

The bagels cried, but I saved my self-respect and strengthened my self-control.  A guilt-free Thai curry this weekend will render this self-deprivation exercise a distant memory, if I don't go crazy first.  :)

A better, easier alternative to a can of SPAM...a yam!

This is the recipe for baked yams...one of my favorite healthy foods. 

Take some yams, wash them, put them on a pan, cook them for about 2 hours at 400 degrees.  They're done when you can poke them with a knife and the inside feels very soft.  I like them cold, so I put them in the fridge to chill before I eat.

I could eat yams every day for the rest of my life- they're that good.  If you don't like them, you're wrong, and my dad can beat up your dad. 

There's no honor among th...ousand pounders!

A cold, hard lesson I had to learn on my way down was I had no good reason for being fat.  "Aucune" as they say in French.  I used to come up with excuses like, "it's just who I am," or "I'm past my athletic prime so it doesn't really matter anymore."

I was just lying to myself to justify my irresponsible behavior.

My very loving wife never put any pressure on me to become healthy, and always told me she accepted me for who I was.  I believed her...but I eventually asked the introspective question...would I want to be married to a whale?

Being sexy for her became a huge part of my motivation to get fit. 

I believe one of the reasons Americans are fatter than ever (68% of us are now overweight according to the National Institute of Health) is due to the fact that in our collective quest to be politically correct, we have created a protected class of fat people.  We're quick to offer excuses for being fat, WHICH IS A CHOICE, especially when we feel guilty ourselves.  I know that collective thinking helped my weight stay in the clouds.

Let's stop lying to ourselves and love ourselves and our families enough to choose to be healthy!

Always a fatty at heart

A few minutes ago I was assaulted in my own kitchen.
In a rush to eat my healthy dinner I opened the cupboard looking for some plates and... WOOSH!!!  A bag of chocolate covered pretzels from Trader Joe's barely missed my chin with a left hook.  I slammed it shut as the bag was stretching back for a knock-out punch.  In a moment of hurry I forgot it was there- it's been out to get me ever since a neighbor gave it to us.

I've heard it giggling at night. 

That's the world I live in.  My life is like a spy movie, only with a sexier girl (my wife:).  I'll be minding my own business, and bullets fired from a deep-fried something will whiz past, or a taco will jump on my back and start throwing punches!  You see, I'm a fit fatty at heart.  You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'd bet dollars to donuts I could eat you, your dog, and your horse under the table.

I wouldn't actually do it though (except maybe when I cheat), because I've learned how and motivated myself to eat right and exercise to be healthy.  Between March and September 2009 I lost 54 pounds and I have kept it off.  Losing was the hard part, maintaining is the harder (but worthwhile) part.  I love my body and my family enough to give it all I've got. 

The point of this blog is motivation.  For me (and anyone else in my situation) to maintain, and for others, to lose.

Also, you need to know that as a fit fatty at heart, I still indulge in the food I love, just with control.  Notice above I mentioned that I've learned to eat right, not abandon all of my food pleasures.  I'm not a snobby foodie, although I have refined my preferences- I love just about everything from Twinkies to Truffles.

You're welcome to join me as I maintain.  Actually, will you help me?  I can always use encouragement and I'm going to give it as much as possible.  Peanut Butter Cups always kick me very hard in the shins.  Looking forward to a long, healthy life.