As my precious reader, it is my duty to warn and protect you.
The following is a description of the most seductive form the Devil takes: a rectangle...about 12"X24"...3-4" thick...fluffy and white on the top...crunchy and brown on the bottom...red in the middle...with white layers. Humans have been heard to refer to this embodiment as "pretzel jell-o."
When he appears in this state, he is often surrounded by his minions disguised as buttered rolls, gravy, and mashed potatoes.
Many a weary man has tasted the raspberry, pineappley transcendence, become ensnared, and eaten close to half a pan in one sitting. The pain from over-eating unhealthy, but incredible food becomes his temporary hell.
One would think, "how could anything promoted by Bill Cosby be evil?" Well, was Fat Albert not evil? Ah ha!
I cannot escape this temptation, and you may share my weakness. We can mitigate it, however. If we eat healthy during the week, and exercise, the effects of the Devil's power exhibited through pretzel jell-o are significantly weakened. We can exercise this behavior to defend ourselves from other devilish degustations as well.
Onward fit fatties at heart!
Todd,
ReplyDeleteMike Kunkel told me about your blog. Good on you man. I am a former fatty myself. If you are ever looking for a really good workout program I am obsessed right now with the P90x and Insanity series. They are super intense but great workouts. It is always fun to change up your workout routine so you stay motivated.
Ah yes... the red devil. I too have been snared by its wicked grasp. Thankfully I have a large family so partaking of the pretzel-jell-o salad by use of a large serving spoon has not been a possibility. My thanks go out to all those who have sacrificed their health to save me!
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